courttv

so...court tv kinda freaks me out a little bit. it kinda makes me a little afraid to live alone, but i know i can't live with anyone at the moment. it's weird though. people are friggin' nuts! and yeah, i'm fucking tired. work is killing me...

ARGH!

i can't cook anymore!!! i seem to have lost my touch...motherfucker... and now i can't get this burnt smell out of my place...ugh!

something that makes me happy

so, i'm watching "midnight in the garden of good and evil," and i just realized that i'm glad i'm not a southern debutante, or debutante in general. i don't want to wear any frilly lacy poufy stuff and gay little hats. or act all pristine and proper. fuck that shit.

something i've noticed

so it seems that i may be cursed, well, not me per se. but it seems like whenever someone does anything that pisses me or, as lame as it sounds, hurts my feelings, something bad happens to them. it's so weird. like for instance let's take mr. jake. the first time we broke up, he blew a tire and fucked his car up. second time, his expensive ass tv projector broke. and the last time he pissed me off, he got fired from his store 3 days later. it's just odd. and now someone basically insulted me without really knowing me, and part of his house burned down. it's really strange. it's really shitty that that happened. and i don't get why this happens when people really really make me upset. i can't really say if anything bad happened to tony other than his weight ballooned. who knows. and jamie, my lovely ex roommate, well...she's ballooned as well. she's probably knocked up or has some strange new STD that's not even discovered yet. and i went to the courthouse today and filed my papers finally. so she'll be getting served. and all this is people who were either friends or boyfriends, so saying that, i can only imagine what's happening to my father. asshole.

so, i guess the moral here is not to piss me off or bad things will happen to you.

projectile velocity

so, i suppose i'd better write something as ben left me a nasty comment about me not posting anything. however, truth be told, i'm freaking busy, like, running around with my head cut off busy. i know, that's no excuse, but i've also had nothing extraordinarily exciting happen lately either. other than i might get to transfer out of my fucking HD store to a different one.

other than that, i'm up to my ass in school work. not eating enough or drinking enough it seems. i've been really dehydrated lately, it sucks. i've been wanting to go to NY a lot lately, mainly just to eat real food and be around people who are somewhat normal. i'm just in need of some form of stability at the moment.

i've also been feeling really old lately too. not just the acid reflux or any other medical problem. i just feel like i'm 21 going on 35. how is it that i feel like i should be in some sort of meaningful relationship and all i get is, "send me some nude pics"? seriously. i'm sick of it. i feel like charlotte in sex and city, "i've been searching for mr. right since i was 15, where is he?" ok, i'm not that desperate, but it would be nice to have someone else keeping your head up besides yourself and your close friends. just a little bit of support from someone other than friends and family. that's all i'm asking for.

but my head is killing me and i have much homework to do, so i must go now. tata.